Abstenence in Marriage

I know... this is a strange post... but these are strange times. I recently spoke with a christian who passionately explained to me that sex, even within the confines of marriage, is exclusively for procreation and should never be pursued for pleasure. I have heard this position before but I thought I would write out my thoughts on the subject this time...

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

The only conclusion to this viewpoint would be that abstinence is a valid form of birth control within marriage. This does not seem to line up with scripture.

1 Cor 7:1-5 is pretty frank regarding this matter...
"Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. "

Some of you didn't know that stuff was in the Bible, did you?
Paul says that one purpose for marriage is to protect men and women from fornication. He explicitely states that abstinence is not to be long-term, and apparently only by agreement for a time of prayer. In marriage, couples are entirely free to satisfy each other. There is nothing unspiritual about sex between marriage partners... for any reason they desire.

The Old Testament guys had something to say on the matter, also...
Proverbs 5:15-19
"Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love."

"satisfy you always"... "captivated by her love"... Reads like a Valentine card (or a romance novel)... Pretty racy stuff... there's no question that there is an element of pleasure intended in the intimate monogamous relationship between a husband and wife.

So, abstaining from sex within a marriage relationship is not only a bad idea, it is disobedient to God's Word. The Bible commands Christian couples not to withhold from one another sexually.

Facebook Frenzy

My name is Duke and I am a Facebook addict...

I am pretty computer savvy but this social networking thing passed me by completely. I am sure its a generational thing... I mean... my perception was that everybody doing Facebook or MySpace was somewhere between 12 and 20 years old and discussing their latest shopping spree or video game conquest. I could not imagine myself enjoying anything about it nor could I conceive of any useful purpose for joining.

A week or so ago I wanted to show off some pictures of my son, Heath, and his girlfriend. I was at work in Mississippi, 2000 miles from home, and when I said that I didn't have a picture with me one of my coworkers, who maybe has met Heath twice, says... "He has some pix on his facebook page." "WHAT!! You watch his Facebook page??????" "Yeah, we're facebook friends."

So thus began the journey... I went out in search of pictures of Heath. That's when I discovered that I couldn't look at his pictures until I joined... so I signed up. Next I discovered that I couldn't view his pictures unless he was 'my friend'... this is my son we're talking about... and here I am humbling myself and begging his permission to grant me friend status so that I can view his pictures. This is a stressful situation... all the questions... How is my relationship with my son? Really? Have I been a sufficiently 'hip and cool' father to be allowed into the inner sanctum of his online life? Apparently the keys are not that tightly guarded if my coworkers were in...! But I was anxious anyway...

He left me hanging... sleepless nights... days passed by... and then, there in my inbox... Heath confirmed you as a friend... YES!! (fist pump) I was now on the inside of the social networking revolution!

Next day my inbox is full of friend requests... I wasn't sure who some of them were but I gave them access... it was the christian thing to do. I soon learned that there is an insidious narcissistic root that takes hold pretty quickly and manifests itself in an unspoken competition to have more friends than your friends have. I found this out when Josh said, "You've already got 100 friends and you've only been doing this a week." My heart swelled with pride...

In reality this connectivity has been very useful. I am communicating with people that I have lost touch with but more importantly I am in more constant contact with many of the people in our church and local relationship groups. I don't know for sure whether it's a positive or negative thing ultimately, but the facts are that our communication has been much better online than we were experiencing even through texting, emailing or phone calls. And beside this... its been kind of fun... except for the wall updates about shopping sprees and video game conquests... from my coworkers!

President Obama

I didn't vote for him and I am anxious to see where he goes with policies regarding abortion and such... but the magnitude of this day caught me a little by surprise. I was kind of proud of our nation in spite of myself... I didn't mean to be... I'm not sure I wanted to be... but the significance of the moment settled on me somewhere in the middle of the inaugaration ceremony and I realized that this man was now MY president.... and I was okay with that. I will treat him with the same respect I would had my guy been elected... and I will pray for him in the same way.

Another note... Rick Warren's prayer was a sincere and thoughtful offering in a challenging arena. I have read christians criticizing every nuance and phrase... ridiculous... why do we pick each other apart in public... its hard enough to reach the world when we're on the same page... but when we can't agree with each other that somebody's prayer was or wasn't done right... was or wasn't good enough. If I hadn't become a Christian at a young age I can't imagine why I would have been interested in hearing about this Jesus who's followers beat each other up all the time...

State of the Union

If my email inbox is an indicator I think the election results have put Christians in an absolute panic. Some express concerns that are real and reasonably presented... but most border on hysteria. I got one today that assured me that we would never again be allowed to rally against abortion... another promised Christians were going to be blacklisted by the government. One Subject line says, "Death of a Nation" Here's a quote from another, "Please join me TOMORROW in celebrating, perhaps for the last time in the history of this nation, National Sanctity of Human Life Day. With the incoming administration, and their liberal hopes and plans for this country, this will probably be the last time we will have the freedom to celebrate this day. "

Most are somewhere in between those... a pessimistic, fearful response to our current cultural and politicaly climate.

There are real concerns about what may be coming in the current administration... but there always is!!! The world is not coming to an end... God was not caught off guard... his end time plans were not set back... and God doesn't secretly love Republicans more than Democrats. The current state of our country and culture should not in any way affect what we do as Christians... we should get up every morning and ask, "What would you have me do today, Lord" Christians have been doing that for centuries... sometimes in much more pagan cultures than ours! The church has survived and often thrived under every type of governmental system... democracy, socialist, communist... don't blame the government for the church's woes.

Where sin abounds there grace much more abounds... we are sitting on a supernatural powder keg... God's grace is set to be poured out if we will have the faith to trust him in these times.